Ten Effective, Effective Questions
If you have taken our Foundational Coaching Course or our Advanced Coaching Course, you know that Effective Questions are key to drawing out self-awareness, insight, answers and solutions from your coachee. But, you are also aware that knowing what question to ask is a skill in and of itself.
You will know you are asking an Effective Question if it is short, simple and, if asked again and again, would draw out different answers. And while there is no such thing as a good or bad question, we’ve developed a short list of some of our favourites.
Here are some truly effective Effective Questions to get you started.
While we’ve framed these questions for a coaching conversation with a young person, the beauty of a great question is that it has the potential to resonate for everyone.
1. What do you want?
This may seem like an odd question to ask a young person—but it works. If you’re only interested in what you want, you might find it difficult to get started with a coachee. If you can involve your coachee in their own success, they will have a vested interest in doing so.
2. What are you like when you’re at your best?
This question works because it asks the coachee to visualise three things simultaneously—their own goals, how to achieve them and their own innate potential. This is a potent combination that can help a coachee identify and move towards a goal.
3. What are you afraid of?
Every journey has roadblocks. Some may be physical, but it’s more likely that they are mental. Find out what those are from the expert—your coachee. By naming their fears and barriers, you can help your coachee work through them and beyond them.
4. What lesson did you learn?
Coaching is about focusing on the present rather than the past. This question is a crucial example of that. Reframing a challenge from the past asks the coachee to think the benefit of the lesson learned now—rather than the difficulties it caused then. If this question resonates with the coachee, you could follow up with a question like, ‘What’s the benefit of learning this lesson?’
5. What are your feelings and emotions saying to you?
Knowing exactly what you are feeling can be tricky, especially for young people. This question can help when a coachee is struggling to connect to their Heart. If an emotion is hard to name, reframing it as a voice with a message may help a coachee interpret something fuzzy into concrete words and actions.
6. If you do ___, how will it affect ____?
There are times when we all want to firmly direct the people we lead in the right direction, so much so that we just want to say, ‘Do this!!’ But that isn’t always effective. This question will allow your coachee to think through cause and effect, and as a result, guide themselves.
7. What are you responsible for?
Depending on their age, young people can have a variety of responsibilities, including homework, household chores, or taking care of their siblings. Come to understand what your coachee is tasked with and it might help you uncover deeper feelings about how they feel about their ‘work,’ and foster a greater sense of ownership.
8. What do you value?
This is a great question to ask your coachee in order to show them how much you value their opinion. It is also a classic Heart question. As coach, it is your role to help your coachee uncover what is most important to them. This is a great place to start.
9. What is stopping you?
Coaching brings out the best in people because it puts them in charge of their lives and goals. Asking them what is stopping them is a great way to get them to face their obstacles, and get you to realise their obstacles as well. Once named, these obstacles become far easier to conquer.
10. What options are available to you?
Identifying obstacles can help a coachee take action, but the opposite can also be true. Simply asking a coachee to examine what options or resources are available to them right now can show a new potential way forward.
Do you have a favourite Effective Question—a go-to that always seems to land? Let us know in the comments below.