Step Into Your Kid’s COVID Shoes
How to Help Your Teenager Find Fulfilment
We’ve all pressed pause on our lives—whether we like it or not. We are being asked to take a moment to think about how we are showing up in this world, not just for ourselves, but for others, too. The present is saying: here is the gift of time, how will you make it worth your while, both in your home and on a global scale? A gift wrapped in a challenge, asking you to think about who are you, and how you want to be from here on in (no pressure).
If you think it’s hard to ask yourself this question, imagine how hard it might be to kickstart it with your teenager. Have you noticed how they are spending their time? What do you think they are up to and what do you think they’re thinking about? Are they engaging in new activities like yoga or gardening, or are they parked on the couch in video-game mode, waiting for this time to end?
To help guide them in their (and your) process, we created the BE Remix, so you can find out how they are doing and maybe help them find fulfilment. Feed two birds with one worm?
HERE ARE TWO COACHING TECHNIQUES THAT CAN HELP YOU CONNECT WITH YOUR TEENAGER
1 MEET THEM WHERE THEY ARE
Accept them more than ever right now. Step into their uncomfortable shoes and get involved in their world.
Get to know what they like, and even better, what they like about it.
Acknowledge their current state and say it out loud to them: ‘I can see you are having a lot of fun doing that.’ Become Genuinely Curious and ask as many Effective Questions as you can by starting with only ‘What’ and ‘How’.
2 HELP YOUR CHILD DREAM
Focus on the person, not the problemby asking Effective Questions that focus on ‘Heart’. Help them to understand who they are, what’s important to them and clarify their dreams and visions.
Once you understand what your child wants, you can help frame any activity in a way that will resonate with their values.
Use this opportunity to let your children thrive, even if they are resisting. They may be starting secondary school, going off to university or somewhere in the middle—wherever they stand, set them up for success and trust that they are ready.
They are ready to learn about what makes them unique. They are ready to connect with themselves and their priorities to find fulfilment. They are ready to explore what curiosity really means and how to use it to deeply connect with others. They are ready to hold themselves accountable.
They are ready.
They are ready in the same way our co-founder Quinn was when she was fourteen years old, but she may have been luckier than her peers. Her mother was a self-love and self-awareness advocate often supplying her with a mini library of self-help books. We are not asking you to do that but we’re asking you to consider stepping into your kids’ shoes for a moment so you can find out what they need.
Maybe they are waiting for you to ask them how they really are? Perhaps they need permission to look inwards and question their values. Could it be they are trying to build their self-awareness and understand how they think right now? They need to be able to map out the steps towards their goals with confidence and they very well could use a tender hand holding, not helicopter holding.
Remember, you can’t convince anyone to do anything. If they end up doing it because you convinced them, they won’t experience it in the same way. It will drip with “My parent made me do this”. Be transparent, be honest and share from your heart. Show them what’s possible by doing it yourself or do it together by making it special time between you two.
IN This POST...
We’ve selected some of our favourite tools from our BE Programme and created the BE Remix, a self-directed wellbeing series for students. Videos, worksheets and reading leads them through six tracks that foster fulfilment, curiosity, connection, effectiveness, awareness and accountability.
