The Connection between Montessori and Coaching
Dr. Maria Montessori created something very special for us and her legacy continues to live on in schools and homes around the world. We think she would be proud to see her philosophies finding their way into the nooks and crannies in children’s lives.
The Montessori Method of Education is known mainly as an approach taken within schools but the practices also show up in parenting styles and the physical design of playrooms. If you are interested in learning more, we love the book The Montessori Toddler and The Absorbent Mind.
We want to focus here on one specific part of the approach: follow the child. Walk into a Montessori classroom or home and you will find the adult in observation mode. Watching and staying back is integral to the process. Dr. Montessori was a scientist and believed adults could learn through observing the patterns and behaviour of children.
Middenhall Montessori School in Toronto shared an insightful blog all about this phrase by speaking to the importance of taking a pause. They share:
“The most important thing we can do when approaching a child is to pause. Is the child focused? Already engaged? Enjoying their work? If you can answer ‘yes’ to these questions, it may be best not to interfere. When a child is concentrating, they are not seeking out approval or direction. Even if they are not engaging in an activity in the way we had envisioned, as long as they are being safe and careful with a material, they may be getting something out of the experience that we had not anticipated.”
In their school newsletter they also shared, “We believe children are innately driven to learn. It doesn’t take gold stars or pizza parties, it simply takes a bit of us laying the groundwork and getting out of the way. How do we follow the child? It starts with some basic scientific observation. That, paired with a good understanding of human development, and a desire to let each child carve their own journey and we are well on our way.”
This is not about letting children do quite literally whatever they want, so if you are picturing anarchy and mischievous toddlers, you can quietly replace that with an impact of children finding their own path within boundaries laid out by an adult. This means creating “yes” zones where you would never need to say phrases like “don’t touch that” or “not, that’s not for you.” This means hazard-free environments that serve their growth and development, and allow for exploration and creativity.
So, how does this relate to coaching?
That phrase ‘follow the child’ does not only mean observe the child, it means allow them to go where they want to go, and go with them. In a coaching conversation, your goal is to meet the coachee where they are. Your goal is to allow their heart and mind to explore what is going on for them without interruptions. You know you are not coaching when you are constantly trying to move them somewhere, set targets for them or tell them what to do.
Coaching is a partnership that puts the coachee at centre stage. They lead the conversation, not you. Just as the child decides what toy they want to play with next or what part of the room they want to discover, your coachee will decide what thoughts or feelings are worth investigating.
On The Anatomy: Foundational Coaching Course, we explore the Three Truths of Coaching and whilst ‘meet the coachee where they are’ is not one of them, the truths make it possible for you to do so. You must believe that the person you are coaching is capable and whole, that they have all the answers and thus your role is to ask, not tell.