Build Connection to Increase Your Wellbeing
We all know precisely what impacts our mental health: sleep, stress, exercise, and time spent with loved ones. Plenty of books, articles, research papers, podcasts and even Instagram reels consistently remind us of their importance. But who’s talking about conversations? You likely engage in about 250 per week. How often do you pause to consider the influence of those daily interactions?
Conversations are not merely an exchange of words; they shape the fabric of our relationships and establish strong foundations for meaningful connection. They hold the potential to transform your wellbeing and the wellbeing of those around you. You know that feeling when you leave a conversation feeling better than before? That’s precisely what we are talking about.
When you enter a conversation with conscious intention and choose your form of connection, there is a significant impact on both parties.
Our advanced coaching course, The Journey, introduces the Connection Hierarchy and remind participants that not all connections are created equal.
Pity often involves feeling sorry for someone while maintaining a sense of superiority.
Sympathy involves acknowledging another person's feelings and offering comfort, but not necessarily taking active steps to help.
Empathy entails putting yourself in someone else's shoes and actively imagining what they might be thinking and feeling.
Compassion is marked by a genuine desire to promote the wellbeing of others while maintaining healthy boundaries.
Until recently, empathy was seen as the most useful way to connect. However, there is a body of research shedding light on its negative consequences like fostering judgment and burnout.
How does empathy foster judgment? When a colleague approaches you with a problem and you empathise, don't you immediately form an opinion about what you would do if you were in their shoes?
How does empathy lead to burnout? Numerous studies have shown that absorbing the emotions of others can be overwhelming and draining, especially when continually exposed to such experiences.
Next time you find yourself in conversation, take a moment to reflect on how you are establishing a connection. Ask yourself questions like, ‘Am I feeling pity, sympathy, empathy or compassion?’ And, ‘Which approach would be most beneficial for this conversation?’
Compassion is the most connected form of connection. It allows you to engage in dialogue without passing judgment and with the healthy boundaries needed for your wellbeing. This means observing what the other person is saying without absorbing their emotions.
