4 ways to coach friends and family (and yourself) this summer!
Before you put your coaching hat on the shelf this summer, consider the countless opportunities to use coaching with friends and family members over the summer break. Whether you're out to dinner with friends, on a long road trip with your family, or even at the grocery store with your kid(s), coaching is guaranteed to foster more connected and meaningful interactions with those you love.
Here are four ways you can use coaching skills with friends and family this summer:
1. Silence is your friend. Before you jump in with a solution, take a beat. Pause, take a breath and leave space for the other person to think more deeply. Consider what would be different if instead of jumping in with your perspective, you allowed space for the other person to simply be with their thoughts.
2. Omit ‘why’. Remember, starting a sentence with the word 'why' can infer judgment and criticism, even if that’s not your intention. Consider what would be different if instead of asking your friend or family member why they didn’t do the thing you asked (classic, right?!), you took a less judgmental approach.
3. Be curious. Resist the urge to give advice when it’s not requested and, instead, ask Effective Questions that start with ‘what’ and ‘how’ to watch the conversation flourish. Consider what would be different if the next time a friend or family member shared a problem or challenge, you listened intently and asked Effective Questions to help them find their own solution.
4. Start with Heart. What is important about…? How do you feel about…? What’s your ideal…? All these questions and many more point to the Heart of the person and invite them to share what’s really going on. Consider what would be different if the next time your indecisive friend or family member came to you to get your opinion, you started with Heart and helped them clarify what’s important.
Remember yourself this summer!
Coaching is for everyone, including you. Just as you are learning to do with others, give yourself time to be silent and sit with your thoughts; omit why and, instead, be accepting and kind towards yourself; be curious about your feelings and thoughts by asking Effective Questions; start with your Heart and consider what is most important to you.
Enjoy building your coaching muscle this summer with those you love!